(pale blue eyes)
And he wondered sadly in his head…
“Does she feel more free now, or does this empty space consume her as well?”
No more hope of a union, no more faith in a destiny withheld, a shared life to come.
“I gave her up ,” he thought, “I gave her up for her.”
She, a trophy of a youth; beautiful and brilliant, strong and well adjusted, able to over come everything and all, including him.
This is what he had always known. After eight years of hard wired courtship he had finally harvested the courage to leave her to her own devices.
Sure, the depression would set in for him, yet this is what he was saving her from. Always the depression, the depression of now, the depression that he was now drowning in, sinking to the bottom, without her.
Distraction was all that he had anymore. Anything to keep her face out of his mind. A willingness to make believe that it would all be better now, if not for him, then definitely for her, for those pale blue eyes. He hated television, yet now that was all that consumed his life; the sports, the dramas, the comedies, he engulfed them all, the hardships and pain, the tragedies and betrayals, even the friendships and love.
And so the hole grew deeper, darker, more constricting and delusional.